Hello, beautiful people of the internet! Today is International Day of People with Disabilities, yeah! I was debating on what to talk about, because I had so many eye-opening conversations about what having a disability means, ableism, mental health, words, oppression in the disability community, (and how many people do not believe in it!) and wondering what the heck I am doing with my life! Words however caught my attention, and this is not your sunshiny post from me, and for educational purposes, I do mention some words that are not ok to use. If you don’t feel comfortable with this topic, please click away.
So let’s break down the dictionary:
Disability: “a physical, mental, cognitive, or developmental condition that impairs, interferes with, or limits a person’s ability to engage in certain tasks or actions or participate in typical daily activities and interactions” This is the most polite way to address someone with a disability. Say it how it is, don’t dress it up. I would rather people address me that I have a disability than not address me at all. It’s not a bad word, it just addresses that I am “not typical” or “normal” while being polite. It is also double awesome if you use person-first language, but that is for a later conversation.
Differently-abled: “having a disability” This is a term that I do not use or really even appreciate, however, there are many people with disabilities who prefer this term versus “disabled.” “Don’t dis my ability” is another way to put this, and again I personally use or think it accurately describes what it means to have a disability. I am ok with not being able to do what everyone else can, which is actually pretty normal, so the word disabled fits me. Also, my disability is visible, so it is obvious. I don’t hide my disability, and I don’t hide from it. However, some people are not quite as comfortable with the word “disability” and want to normalize it, so “differently abled” is a softer way to put it. I would still say the word “disability” until you learn people’s preferences though.
Crippled: “sometimes offensive: a lame or partly disabled person or animal.” This is a word that is offensive to people with disabilities, that “normal” people shouldn’t use. However, I included this because sometimes people with disabilities use it in jokes, and there is a small movement to reclaim the word to have a more positive meaning. So if someone with a disability uses it, it is ok, however, if you do not have a disability, do not use it.
The R-word: This one I am not saying the word nor linking the definition. As someone with a speech impediment, I know that people judge my intelligence frequently. This is a word that no one should use, ever. Not in front of us, and not behind our backs. Chances are if you know someone with a disability, (especially if they have a speech impediment), then you know someone who has been called this word. They have had a very negative experience with this word.
At the end of the day, however, none of the words I mentioned above are the words that have ever hurt me the most. More often than not I can just brush them off, (must be why my mom occasionally calls me “THE BRICK!”) The things that have hurt me the most are what people do on a regular basis that makes me feel less like a person. Things like not trying, not to stare, so they pretend I’m not there. Things like avoiding me, not listening, not giving me a chance, assuming I am not intelligent, making rude comments about me and my family, assuming that my life isn’t good, blaming my disability on something that I did…… Often the silence and the looks are more painful than any word could ever be. I am not sharing this message for me, I am sharing it for other people I have met with disabilities, because it’s 2020. We as a society can do better at treating all people like people today, and tomorrow. I only shared a few words, but we are all unique individuals and will all prefer different words — just like we don’t all like cookie dough ice cream. That is what makes us people. In the end, celebrate International Day of People with Disabilities every day — treat people with respect; it does make their lives easier and you will be better too.
By the way, the word I prefer to be called is Lacey. You will always be safe using people’s names. Be a human being, bro!
All of the above definitions are from https://www.merriam-webster.com/
Just a Girl With Crutches 